Top Five Tuesday — Top Five (Or More) Things You’ll NEVER Hear A #UMC Conservative Or A #UMC Traditionalist Say

So this post is pretty specific to my little world of the United Methodist Church (#UMC).

Because within that particular tribe, there are a couple (maybe more, according to this piece) of clearly defined camps:  Progressives and Traditionalists.  Liberals and Conservatives.  UMC blue and UMC red.  These distinctions are primarily in the realms of theology & Scripture, though they occasionally bleed over into politics as well.

Nevertheless, I have been thinking of those things you simply never hear a UMC conservative say.  And, because we are a denomination of the “both/and” more than the “either/or,” I’ll give the other side a swing as well.

So here they are, Methodists: five (or more) you’ll never hear yourself — or the other side — say.

Top Five (Or More) Things You’ll Never Hear A #UMC Conservative Say …

Because of the bible’s partriarchal bias, we need to approach it with a hermeneutic of skepticism.

I’m more interested in addressing systemic sin than individuals sins.

Apportionments?  Why, they’re the first missional priority of the local church.

Love is love is love.

I just want to be on the right side of history.

Well, my current ministry is that I’m a blogger and an activist.

In the name of the Creator, the Redeemer, and the Sustainer, amen.

Hey, think we can get Bishop Sprague to come out of retirement?

Let justice roll!


Top Five (Or More) Things You’ll Never Hear A #UMC Progressive Say …

I don’t care what I saw on that documentary, the BIBLE says . . .

Let’s sing “Nothing But The Blood” to close this one out, OK?

Apportionments?  Nah, we’re giving to the Gospel Coalition instead.

Hey . . . I’m concerned about her salvation.

Poverty is primarily the result of behavioral choices.

Could you repeat that, please?  I was listening to my John Piper podcast.

Your body is not your own; it was bought with a price.