Top Five Tuesday — Top Five Sports Rants

They are moments etched in time.

They are the source of phrases that have worked their way into the common vernacular.

They are, frankly, sources of unending YouTube enjoyment.


Sometimes coaches, sometimes players. Sometimes during press conferences, sometimes during the heat of battle.

Always classic.

Here they are: my top five favorite.

Warning: though I’ve tried to chose edited clips, some of them have language that is . . . colorful.

5. John McEnroe, “You Cannot Be Serious!” How many classic lines in this one rant?! “Chalk flew!” “You are the pits of the world!” And then, of course, the phrase that has become its own industry: “You cannot be serious!” Often overlooked from this 1981 Wimbledon rant is that McEnroe went on to end Bjorn Borg’s five year run as the champion by beating him in a four-set final. Serious.

4. Dennis Green, “The Bears Are We Thought They Were.” I didn’t even remember that Dennis Green coached the Cardinals. But I will always remember his frustration that his team let the Bears off the hook.

3. Jim Mora, “Playoffs?!” Now we know why the playoffs were such an absurd notion of Mora’s Colts: they hadn’t drafted Peyton Manning yet.

2. Mike Gundy, “I’m a man, I’m 40!” Oklahoma State’s Gundy was trying to protect his own quarterback from newspaper coverage in Stillwater and offers himself up as a fitting alternative. Offer accepted:

1. Allen Iverson, “Practice? We’re talking about practice?” Ah, it must be nice to be so good you don’t need to, um, practice. You know this is in the common vernacular when Aaron Rogers responds to a poor Packers practice session by tweeting it . . . much to Mike Sherman’s chagrin.